I Heart Bitchy Kitty

Her predecessor had been such a lady

Sleek calico, with the emerald eyes and regal charm

Of the Faerie Queene she was named for

(And a propensity to walk through walls).

Eighteen years Queen Mab

Condescended to keep me company

Here in Middle Earth; and when at length

She returned whence she had come

Such was my sorrow

That I was well and truly resolved:

No More Cats.

And it was not even the year and a day

Of the old tales when

This One came toddling

Literally toddling

Into my life:

A tiny palmful of drenchy fur,

Pale hazel eyes narrowed into slits

As tho’ even the greyest of daylight

(As it was that rainy autumn afternoon)

Were just too much to bear:

Tiny little fangs bared

In the almost soundless quacky mew

That said, clearer than words,

Help me, woman

Lest I perish.

Little did I guess at the time

That this wee changeling beastie was

Hardly the docile baby she appeared to be:

That only extremity had driven her into my hands;

And that the resentment of gratitude bound her to me.

Bitchy Kitty

No sprig of fairy royalty, this time, had come in feline guise

To amuse herself and enlighten me;

No, a sullen poukha or a brownie in reverse, this one:

Exiled from Elfland, not here by choice.

“You saved my life,” it said to me one night

With a tiny disdainful sniff, and a lashing of its bottlebrushy tail,

“So we’ll live together. But

We Won’t Like It.

And useful around the house?

Well, you can forget that.

You’re lucky just to be allowed

To take care of me.

And I may surprise you (and myself)

With a rusty purr or two when you pet me

And I may curl up at your head or feet

But don’t get any funny ideas

And keep your expectations to yourself

And don’t forget to feed me.

That is all. You may go.

Wait! Where you going?”

You were born to be a barn cat, baby

Not your fault you came to on this plane

In a City Market parking lot

But so it was

And so it is

We slouch along and make the best of things

Two feral proud and prickly beings

Bitchy Kitties

Yoked together by




By Elliot Jackson, Salida, CO